Ah, December

Hello again. Been a while....in fact, been a LONG while. Since September. You see, I've got a baby now and a tired wife. Ye ole blog is not on the tops of the charts these days. I miss it. It's fun for me and maybe for you too?

Anyway, here we are in December. Where did summer, fall and football season go? Oh yeah, to the diaper pail, to sleeping whenever I can and to falling completely in love with a five month old girl.

What's changed? If you are a parent, you know. The Bride and I have been more of business partners lately than lovers. That's OK. The little one takes a lot of energy, time and decision making. They don't give you a manual at the hospital or let a nurse come home with you. We've been learning as we go. The baby is at daycare three days a week, with my mom (Gram) one day and the Bride has off every Friday. I was not, and am not still, OK with the thought of my baby at daycare. Each to their own, I am not judging you by any means, just not what I wanted for our baby's first few years. But, I guess it is going as well as can be.

Thanksgiving came and went. I think all we needed to do was to get our baby to each grandparent's house and then we could have left for two days. We don't matter any more. Only our girl. That's fine, I got to watch even more football than normal! :)

Christmas is coming up. I LOVE Christmas. Always have, always will. It's really the only time of the year left that people are very intentional about seeing and speaking to each other. I am sure your calendar, especially weekend calendar, is full of parties, get togethers and that dreaded work party that you feel like "I should make an appearance". Urgh.

I hope that the holiday finds you well and that you and yours are truly blessed. Merry Christmas is what I will say but have a wonderful holiday whatever celebration you find yourself having.

TBD

Decisions decisions

The Bride has been on maternity leave since the baby was born. (Wow, 10 weeks ago today, where does the time go?) It's been a blessing. My wife is a natural. She is nursing so being at home this long has certainly been a awesome. Their time together every day is well spent. They take walks, friends come to visit, both of our mothers have been over many times. It's a perfect setup...

Then you consider finances and the long-term security of the family. urgh! Why do we have to have money to make the world go round? Our rock and hard place is that my wife makes more than I do. Not just a little, a significant amount. She also really enjoys her job. Me...not so much. While I am doing fine financially, I really don't enjoy what I do. I am more of a go out and get em markeing/business guy, not a sit in front of a computer for a megga-corp guy. I did not choose this job, the failing music industry in Nashville chose it for me. All that to say, we don't want to put our baby girl in daycare for the first 2 years of her life. This is not a judgement to anyone that does, we know daycare certainly has its advantages. It's just not what we want to do. So, do we give up the enjoyable job and higher pay so that momma can be home with her baby girl or do we become new millineum cool and I stay at home while momma goes off to work. Both options would work for us, it'sjust WHAT IS THE RIGHT DECISION?

Prayers are appreciated for us.

HELP! I need somebody....HELP

Help. Beatles song? Bestselling book with a movie coming out in a few weeks? For us, the Bride and me, help has taken the shape of many people over the last 4 weeks. We've been home with our new baby girl for a month. Wow, where does time go? In these 4 weeks, the Bride's mother has been here twice for almost a week at a time. My mom has come over during the day and stayed with the Bride for 8 hours at a time. The Bride's sister from Knoxville was here for a weekend. Countless friends have brought meals and some have even brought 2...one to eat now and one to freeze for later.

So, not that we "needed" the help, but we are beyond thankful for it. These friends and family have made our transition from DINKs (double income no kids) to parents as easy as it could possibly be. For that, we are forever grateful. Thank those that HELP you to make the days go a little bit easier.

The first few weeks...

It's been a few weeks since my last post. Why? I've been busy. Why? My baby girl is HERE! She was born on July 5th. We induced. She was not ready to join us even 8 days after her due date. Delivery went very well. I am SO proud of my wife. She is a true champ. She was even giggling during delivery at points. Nurses, Doctor, entire hospital staff was great. We could not have been happier. Most importantly, our daughter is perfectly healthy! Thank you Lord!

I went right back to work after we got home because my Mother In Law stayed with us for a few days and then my mom took over for the next week. So, this week is my time and am home all week. This is the life! I need to win the lottery so that we can all be home together all the time. I am loving it. My wife and I are making a pretty great team figuring out this baby thing.

My friends with kids always said "I can't really explain how great it is to have kids. Words can't describe it". And they are right, I now understand.

"Did you have the baby yet?"

I wish I had a dime for every time I have heard this question this week. I work in an office. I work close to the breakroom in my office. Everytime a person walks by and sees me still sitting here I get the same question "Did you have the baby yet"???!!!! Now, is this just each person's way of starting a conversation or do people really think that from this morning at 8 when they asked me this to just after lunch that yes, I went to the hospital, supported my awesome wife through labor and delivery, and am now back here at my desk because I love you people so much and just love to sit a computer all day? Several people ask me this several times a day.

Just an odd observation. I am sure it's pretty normal.

Sittin, waitin, wishin

Any Jack Johnson fans out there? I was sittin, waiting, wishin he sings in one of his songs. That is what I/we are doing right now. Our due date (or HER due date as many people refer to it) is next Sunday, the 26th! The Bride's belly looks like it's got a whole watermellon tucked into it with no room for anything else. The little girl says hello often with a punch, kick or whatever she is doing in there. Thursday was our 5th anniversary. As we said goodnight, we were both a little thankful that she did not come on that day. We want our anniversary for our day and our little girl's birthday to be her special day. Then the wife said "I just want ONE more Saturday to do nothing. Sleep in, eat at my own pace, get whatever we want whenever we want for dinner." It's early afternoon, but so far it's looking like that is going to happen. Who knows what the next few days or even weeks brings? Whether it's tonight or two weeks from now or any day in between, I am ready. So for now, I'm sittin, waiting, wishin....

"Social" Networking

I started The Bad Dad blog and Twitter account for fun and to get some advice, fun stories, product reviews, etc. from Dads (and moms too) as I prepare to have my first child. I am not very active on the Twitter and even less so updating this blog. However, my wife is not into the whole social media thing at all. Last night we had a very good conversation about it. Why do I have a blog, why Twitter with people I've never met, will probably never meet and why does anyone care about what I have to say? she asked. All good questions I guess. I think my answer to all of her questions is simple, because it's fun. It's fun to share random thoughts, stories and humor with people you don't know and get their reactions. I don't need the attention or crave it, it's just out there and I think it's fun. So, if you are one of those people that I don't know or one of my real followers on Twitter, thanks. I'm glad, that for whatever reason, you read what this normal dad-to-be has to say.

Critters

Today is a little bit sad for us. When we got married, the Bride had a young black cat. He was about a year old when we met. He never liked me and even after five years of marriage, still really didn't give me the time of day (typical cat maybe, but I really don't think he liked me). Anyway, he still has his claws and is just unpredictable. With the little girl due in three weeks (eeek), we decided we had to get rid of the cat. Luckily, my Mother In Law was nice enough to take him in. They live about 90 minutes away. So this morning, we packed up all of the cat stuff (scratching post, litter box, food, etc.) and I headed to the In Laws to drop the cat off.

Now like I said, he never liked me. We never bonded. He never sat on my lap and let me pet on him for hours. So why was it SO hard to drop him off today? I can't imagine what it's going to be like when I take my daughter to college...

Random Saturday posting...

No real subject here. Just wanted to update the blog...

Wifey had her fifth (and final?) baby shower today. It was thrown by my Mom's friends so I think it was more of a first grandchild shower for her, but we got all the gifts! I don't understand why women throw so many showers for their pregnant friends when all the pregnant woman wants to do is lay on the couch with her feet up. That's cool though, we are blessed with very good friends and it has been fun watching the Bride get all of this attention. As for me, I cleaned a little house and went to my most favorite bagel joint in Nashville and sat out on the deck reading and sipping coffee (cinnamon-hazelnut = YUM).

Now, we are both back home, the gifts are put away and the Bride is sleeping soundly in the bedroom. It is a 100% beautiful day here in Nashville today but we are under the cicada invasion of 2011 so it's hard to be outside and hear yourself think. (If you don't know what a cicada is, please Google it. it's worse than it sounds). Anyway, I have to be outside so I have the ipod on, Bose headphones up loud and am alone with my thoughts for a little while longer. My sweet baby girl is due in less than a month so I am taking in all of this "quiet" time while I still have it. Be blessed whoever you are reading this. Until next time...

Blue Valentine

Bride is away for the weekend in her hometown. Her high school friends threw her a shower today and she is staying with her parents for some good visit time. Sometimes, her interest in movies and mine are not quite the same so tonight I rented "Blue Valentine" with Michelle Williams and Ryan Gosling. I am no movie critic but this was very well done. While it was far from "entertaining" it was well worth watching. I guess because their love story is so different from my own. They were pregnant when they got married at the justice of the peace. I was married at a Friday night luau and we got pregnant five years later. They struggled with drinking and infidelity. We don't drink and are always together with no chance or fears of cheating. They were physically violent, we've hardly ever raised our voices at each other. They didn't work, we do. I am not saying we are perfect but this movie made me realize that there are couples like this in real life and it made me even more thankful for what I have and not to take it for granted. This is no date night movie, but I suggest it no matter what state your marriage is in.

Childbirth Class

We attended childbirth class this last weekend. The bride is an employee of a healthcare company and they were provided for free, so we decided what the hey....Class was Friday from 6:00 - 9:00PM and then Saturday all day from 9-4:30. (It's funny to me that the newborn care that we will take this week is only 3 hours and hopefully I'll be caring for my newborn a lot longer than she'll be in labor so I don't understand the timing of each class....but I digress) . Anyhow....I am not the most medically inclined or interested person you've ever met. I passed out when I was 8 watching my dad give blood, again when I watched some puppies being born and I don't have to tell you my reaction to watching "The Miracle of Life" in high school. All bad experiences. But, I was a champ in these classes. Sure, the videos were less than desirable but nothing like your mental "happy place" to focus on when the grossing gets tough. I will say, I learned a lot and it was a valuable use of my time.

On another note, God bless nurses. The two that taught our class were very friendly, spirited and were pretty good teachers. I could not do what they do everyday for any amount of money, much less the amount they get paid.

We're less than 2 months from welcoming our little girl into this world and because of this weekend, I plan to be the first one to say hello.

One year...

I live in West Nashville, Tennessee. A community called Bellevue. A year ago today, it started raining....and rained some more....then some more. Over 2 days, Bellevue got over 15 inches of rain. The flooding was unreal. The bride and I live less than half a mile from the Harpeth River so the damage was very close to home. For weeks we went to my old neighborhood just down the street and helped people tear their homes apart, throw their belongings on the curb and listen to their stories and share their tears. Today, one year later, there are picnics and celebrations focused on how far we've come and how far we've left to go before everything is "normal" again. In some ways it seems like the flood was a few weeks ago, other times it seems like it was many years ago.

Apples and oranges I know, but I can't help to think about what my life will look like a year from today. I'll have a 10 month old daughter. My wife may or may not be employed. I may or may not be sleeping through the night. I may or may not have hired a diaper changer full time (kidding on this one). Days, months and years come and go so quickly, it's hard to slow down and enjoy every day, every minute. Everyone with kids always say "they grow up so quickly". I can believe this and hope that I can rejoice and be glad in EVERY day that the Lord blesses me and my baby girl with.

Great Friday

Today is "Good Friday".  Yes, it is indeed good. But isn't every Friday pretty good? I call today "Great" Friday. Jesus went to the cross for you and me! Wow. Would you give up your son (or daughter) for the sins of others? I know I wouldn't. Just being honest.

Tonight. I took the wife out to eat. We just went to a casual neighborhood pub here in West Nashville, nothing fancy. A big family came in. 20-something husband & wife, 4 year old girl, 2 sets of grandparents and a brand new baby girl. My wife and I just looked at that little girl for a few minutes and I got teary eyed. I turned to look at my wife and she had the waterworks down her cheeks! It's real. She is coming and in 10 weeks, she'll be here.

We came home, watched a few episodes of "Lost" (yeah, we have never seen it and don't know how it ends) and I put her to bed. I am now watching my Nashville Predators fight for their playoff lives.

It sure has been a Great Friday in many ways. I am a blessed man.

Tetris

You love Tetris, I love Tetris, your kids and parents probably love Tetris too. Too bad I was not playing on the old Gameboy or computer, but have been playing furniture Tetris for the past several days. We've got a small room for the nursery. It has been an office/man cave but with a girly day bed in it too. Now that it's becoming the nursery, we've moved more furniture around than 2 Men and a Truck. The hangup has been the daybed. The bride says it may come in handy when she is feeding late at night and just wants to sleep in that room with the baby. We both agree that it does not allow for the nursery to look good, have any space and be focused on the little girl. After hours of moving the furniture around to see how it would look in every which way, she agreed that the day bed had to go! So, I tore it down, put it in the garage and have my little girl-to-be's room looking A+ cute I must say.

Doin' It All For My Baby

I know Huey Lewis wasn't singing to his unborn kid when he wrote that but that was my theme song yesterday and today. My bride (and my girl too I guess) are out of town this weekend so it was time for me to get to work. So I:
- Built the crib (not as bad as I was told, or maybe I did it wrong)
- Completely got everything out of the office so it is now officially her room
- Painted the primer coat on the changing table (old table given to us by my mother-in-law)
- Cleaned out the garage and threw a boatload of stuff away
- Painted the changing table
- Rearranged the furniture in our room so that the computer desk fits
- Painted the changing table
- Put new strings on my guitar. Yes, this is for her too. I plan to play a lot of lullabies to her
- Painted the changing table
- Cursed the changing table.

Now, I watch basketball un-interupted probably for the last time. :)

When the wife's away, the bad dad will get to work

The bride and some of her friends went to see another friend in Virginia today. In years (and even months) past that would mean pizza, watching opening day on TV and reading Sport Illustrated cover to cover. Not today. I got home a 5PM and the Comast guy was actually waiting on me. I took a picture for I am sure that will never happen again. Anyway, we got a cable installed in our bedroom for the computer modem. As the cable guy was working, I rolled up my sleeves and tacked the crib. It wasn't too bad. It took me about 45 minutes. After I was done the cable guy left and I really got to work. I moved my desk, computer, chair, etc. into our bedroom and moved some bedroom stuff to the attic and guest room and moved some guest room stuff downstairs. It was basically a very large scale game of Tetris. I must say my little girl's room is now looking like a nursery and less like her dad's rock n roll, sports, star wars shrine. After a quick bite, I went outside and put the primer on her changing table. I'll paint it tomorrow.

This is about 5% sad and 95% awesome. I'll gladly give up my little man nook to make a place for my baby girl to sleep and dream.

Basketball and basketball bellies

Tonight my Belmont Bruins (Proud class of 1997 here) played in the NCAA tournament against Wisconsin. Belmont hosted a watch party that I wanted to go to. Since the pregnant bride had ZERO interest in joining me, I went and watched the game. There were 1,200 kids (kids meaning 18-21 year olds) there and me. I saw guys holding girls' hands, young lovers, confused, confident and searching for my soul kids. I admit, it was fun to watch.

Then I got home. My wife and her "basketball" belly was laying on the couch worn out from another day of growing our child. What was fun to watch just 30 minutes ago was now worrying me sick. What is my daughter going to be facing in 20 years? What will the struggles of the youth of America be? Will I teach her well so that boys respect her? I know it's a long way off but preparing her for this begins soon.

Dad's room to girl's room

Last night there was a big change at the house in preparation for the baby. I got home from work and my bride told me “the painter will be here…tomorrow”. I knew we were going to have the office (which will be our daughter’s nursery) painted “soon” just not SO soon. As I was cooking dinner, my wife went upstairs and took down all of the pictures, photos, etc. and put them in a pile to go up into the attic. No more Appetite For Destruction album on the wall. No more picture of me backstage with Van Halen in 1995. No more Tennessee Titans poster of their first ever game in Nashville. No more George Brett autographed baseball. No more Belmont Bruins bobblehead…

But it’s OK.

Soon, this small little man’s room will be painted a soft white with little pink polka dots. A crib will be where my desk was. A changing table will be where my guitar amplifier stood. And a little girl will easily replace all of the fun stuff that I had in that room.

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Hello

Hi. Thanks for dropping in. This blog is simply a place for me to share my thoughts, excitement, fears, funny stories and frustrations of being a new dad. We are due in June so I'm not even there yet but am learning a lot as my wife's belly gets bigger and bigger. In fact, I created this blog tonight because she felt so bad and went to bed before 9. Anyway, if you are a father, mother, grandparent or nanny and have any and all advice for me, I am all ears. Let's enjoy this amazing journey together.